Seven Questions That Can Change Your Life
Read carefully below and use this format on any goal or issue you can't seem to accomplish or resolve. Then, use EFT on any of the unconscious blocks that arise.
So, you can see that until we look deeply into these questions, we won't know why we're not reaching our goals, or even if we actually want to! Once we uncover the obstacles, however, and determine if in fact we actually want what we think we want, then it's a simple process to eliminate the blocks and move quickly in the direction of our dreams. Enjoy the process, and feel free to call if you'd like a little help!
1. What do I want?
Surprisingly, many of us don't even know what we want. And often, we think of what we want in terms of what we don't want (i.e. I don't want this headache anymore!). Focusing on the negatives is not an effective way to accomplish anything but getting more of what you don't want. So, gaining clarity about what you do want will help you move away from focusing on the negatives, and will give you a way to judge whether or not your actions and thoughts are taking you towards or away from your goal.
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2. Why do I want what I want?
This is an important question that will help you to determine if it's even "you" who wants what you think you want. If you find this odd, you'd be surprised at how many people speak and act as if they want something (a new job, new house, etc.), while energetically they really don't. After introspection, they often find that it's their family or society which has taught them to want these things, but energetically they actually have no interest in them. And, therefore, they don't make much progress towards them, since they were never actually interested in having them in the first place.Back to Top
3. How do I feel as I contemplate having what I want?
This is a great question because it will reveal to you any "Yeah Buts" (often unconscious internal opposition to your goal) that are keeping you from easily manifesting your dream. If for instance you want a new job, but when you contemplate having this new job, you feel a knot in your stomach, you know that you've encountered some internal resistance which will keep you from achieving this new position. As you investigate the knot in your stomach, you may find that you're afraid you won't have any time with your family, or that you don't feel confident in your abilities to perform at that level. All of this information is great feedback which will enable you to eliminate this heretofore unconscious resistance.
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4. What would happen if I got what I wanted?
Most of us assume that rainbows will appear and angels will sing when we finally experience our dreams. But beneath that exuberance and optimism often lies something discordant. For instance, there was a devoutly religious woman who wanted more money. Underneath the surface, however, was a fear that if she got more money, then she might be rich. And if she was rich, she'd have trouble getting into heaven ("it's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to reach the kingdom of heaven"). And then she was also afraid that "money is the root of all evil" (when actually it's "the love of money that's the root of all evil"). Since she certainly didn't want to be evil, no wonder all of her attempts to attract more abundance into her life were sabotaged!
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5. Who would be affected and how?
This is another area that is largely unconscious to most of us. For instance, a woman came to us distraught because nothing she ever did worked to help her lose weight and keep it off. There were, understandably, a number of issues involved with her situation, but one that she had never addressed before was this question. It turns out that she grew up in a kind of reverse discrimination environment, wherein those who were thin were criticized by her extensive and close knit family. She also had developed close friendships with women who were resigned to their overweight condition. She realized that if she were to permanently lose weight, she would feel alone (and even rejected by her family). Needless to say, this was a pivotal understanding in her process toward permanent weight loss.
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6. Do I feel safe enough, deserving/worthy enough to change (and get what I want)?
Many of us grow up with some elements of low self-esteem and insecurity. In those cases, the biggest obstacle to lasting change is internally feeling like it's ok to have what we want, or to feel like we deserve to have what we want. This comes up frequently in a number of areas, but a good example is money. Most people from westernized cultures take it for granted that "money doesn't grow on trees" and "you have to work hard for money". So, when opportunities arise that would allow money to come to us without hard work or effort (investments or business ideas), we either can't acknowledge them, or we'll sabotage them in some way, because it so strongly conflicts with our values about money.
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7. What would be the downside of getting what I want?
Most people never consider this question. The assumption is that there is no "downside". But this is a vital question, especially when dealing with health concerns, because it can reveal unconscious agendas or manipulations. For example, there was a woman who started experiencing the symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis. She became confined to a wheelchair and was unable to work anymore. When she came for consultation and we looked at this question, she realized that there was a large aspect of her that didn't want to recover. She had a much better relationship with a now doting and caring husband, she was freed from the obligation to work, etc.So, you can see that until we look deeply into these questions, we won't know why we're not reaching our goals, or even if we actually want to! Once we uncover the obstacles, however, and determine if in fact we actually want what we think we want, then it's a simple process to eliminate the blocks and move quickly in the direction of our dreams. Enjoy the process, and feel free to call if you'd like a little help!
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